The obvious answer is: "THERE IS NO BAD TIME!" but, unfortunately modern society has created several obstacles for stoners, such as going to the bank. So without further delay, here are some of the top times to toke and top times to toke later.
Stirring has never been this fun!
TOKE NOW: Cooking!
The kitchen is a great place to smoke! Not only when cooking, might I add. When cleaning or doing any other activity in the kitchen, spark it up! There are no fabrics to hold the smell of smoke (ding!), there is an ashtray everywhere (mugs, sink, trash can, ding ding ding!!), and the food is always close by (dingaling!). Of course while cooking your creativity will be spiked, allowing you to engineer absolute marvels with two eggs and a slice of toast (there is no way egg in a hole was invented by a sober person).
TOKE NOW: Before sex!
A recent survey conducted by myself found that 99% of people who have sex, have better sex while high. (Sample group consisting of myself and three Berkeley bums).
TOKE NOW: Watching Movies
This one needs no explanation. Smoking weed before/during a film makes it infinitely better. Case closed!
3D FTW!
TOKE NOW: Visiting YOUR parents:
I'm sure we all love our parents, but before you have kids and your parents become "valuable" again, there is a large part of your twenties when hanging with the rents just doesn't do it for you. Light one up, wash your hands, then go listen to your dad's rambling about the war while your mom pries into your personal life. Fun.
TOKE LATER: Visiting your girl's parents:
Her dad may make you nervous, but smoking now will only increase your anxiety. And the cottonmouth is tough to get rid of when you are nervous. On the upside, if you eat absolutely everything her mom cooks she will love you forever.
TOKE LATER: TSA checkpoints
Little conversation I had in my own head while leaving Vegas airport: "Good thing I washed my hands so I don't smell like pot. But my eyes are red. They know!" ... heart rate increases... "Shit, they probably have heart-rate monitors to pick out and question nervous people! AAAAAAAAAH!"
In short, get it in when you get home!
TOKE LATER: Baseball games:
OK, this one is a bit shaky. I LOVE watching baseball stoned. BUT should you be the stoned dude ducking everytime he sees something move fast and get caught on camera, you're gonna regret it.
Hey how ya doi...SHITFUCKBALL...ng? I'm coo..
TOKE LATER: In front of kids:
As a rule you shouldn't be smoking near kids anyways, but when you are really keyed up and surrounded by kids they are sure to call you out. The little critters are super perceptive and have no filter. Once they shout something like: "UNCLE BOBBY'S BEING WEEEIRD!" you have alot of explaining to do.
TOKE LATER: Business lunch:
Now is just not the time, man.
